11.17.19 later

As it turned out, my assistance today was not needed,

And some old advice I had heard, I heeded –

“Too many cooks in the kitchen,” or something like that,

So I asked my brother to take me back, I have a lot to do before I pack,

Oh wait – pack? That I don’t have to do,

Because of everything I need, I now have two.

One here and one there,

Except when it comes to under-wearit’s more like ten pair.

Even my bible and Amazon fire stick,

I ordered both on Prime and they got here quick.

But anyway,

Like I was about to say,

It worked out how it was supposed to – today,

Even the bulletin, it was meant to be that way,

And so Adam thought it was Wednesday.

It was God’s way of speaking to me,

He knew that was what I needed to see.

And thank you Sharon, for your text,

I hope your day is super-blessed!

11.17.19

This morning it was crystal clear,

I could respond in love or react in fear.

I awoke with an attitude,

That unfortunately, was very rude,

I thought, “I don’t have time to help decorate,

Because once again, I am running late.

Behind schedule, I am, on all I wanted done

Before heading to Florida and soaking up the sun.”

But now, I am ecstatic to say,

That my mood did not stay that way,

And grateful, I am, to know better today

And to say to myself – “HEY! It’s okay.

Stop reacting in fear, start responding in love

And look for help from heaven above.

So I did and it’s been a much better day,

And don’t worry guys, the Christmas Cheer Squad is on the way!

11.16.19

To the football game, I was not going to go,

And then I realized, it could be the last one with my bro.

A play-off game, it was last night,

And the Waurika Eagles were out of sight!

I am very glad went, even though it also meant

I did not get to my poem, but my jewelry mess, I made a dent.

So yes, there will be another game since they won,

But I will be in Florida soaking up the sun.

I will be back though in just two weeks,

And I hope to be in the stands and jump up on my feet

When the cheerleaders command the Eagles’ fans with their beat!

11.15.19

I wrote and recorded my poem yesterday,

But before I sent it on its way,

I decided there were things I should not say

And so I shut down my computer and went to bed.

I started writing about staying in the “now,” 

But majorly got off-track and I do not know how

I did not see the big black cow

Or do I mean a white elephant?

Well today it has been bugging me,

I feel I let myself down, don’t you see,

Those of you in my family tree,

I’m sorry.

I am sorry if say something you’d rather I not,

I am sorry if I embarrass or put you on the spot,

I am sorry for other things that I have forgot

And I hope you can get over it.

I need to do this for me,

Writing the poem in an under an hour, this is the key

So it’s possible there will be things I do not see.

This is my disclaimer.

Through this, I am becoming free

To know who I am, and that, I shall be,

And if you don’t want me to, I’ll quit for a fee,

But until then, here I am, and I do hope you’ll watch.

I hope and I pray that you’ll let me be me

And though we may not always agree,

May we love each other without apology,

And that I remember to let you be you, too.

11.13.19

I found myself feeling a little worried today

And then a voice said inside my head HEY!

Have you forgotten how you felt just the other day,

You had a calm sense of peace and knew everything would be okay.

Give no attention to the negative in your head,

Turn that talk around, generate positive, it said,

And if you’re having trouble putting circumstances to bed,

Get on YouTube and listen to your favorite thought-leader instead!

(That would be Brendon Burchard by the way,

Look him up whenever you need to brighten your day.)

So I started thanking God for Dave, he really is a dear,

And I am thankful he knows all about responding in love or reacting in fear.

For it has been such a blessing, his response to me staying here,

He has been supportive and kind, even though he wants me near.

My thoughts then turned back to going to Ardmore,

And the feeling crept in that it was some kind of chore.

So I adjusted my perspective and prayed for my will no more,

And I felt proud and humbled and thankful when I walked out the door.

If you know me, then you know I like to save the best for last,

Which is the Thanksgiving Dinner we attended at noon – it was a blast!

It was at the Hastings Senior Citizens Center, where we had quite a cast,

There were so many I wanted to see but the time went by too fast.

I really love this town and so I am trying to figure it out –

What we are going to do.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and so I start to doubt

That this, I will get through.

But then God somehow reminds me that in Him I can trust,

And that I can only live one moment at a time, and adjust my thinking to this, I must.

I do not know what our futures hold,

If I will remain bold or if I’ll even grow old,

But God does and He will let me know when I need to.

Needing to know before then, just makes me blue.

11.12.19

Today we mostly chilled, quite literally.

We dreaded the drive to Duncan in the 27 degree weather

Then we realized that the car was the warmest spot altogether.

Cleaned out the car from our 9 day trip, we did that too,

And now the house looks like a zoo.

The cats don’t want us to leave again and they pout,

They won’t leave me alone, they were on my nerves and I wanted to shout.

Instead, I phoned a friend.

I told her nothing of my feline frustrations

Because I have no doubt

That when I’m dealing with this type of mood,

It’s not really what it’s about.

The cat did not create my seeming lack of care,

It was not what set me off,

My mood was already there.

So I searched deep within me

For what it was I feared and nothing could I see.

And because I believe whatever we fear

Can be countered completely with love,

In the end,

I phoned a friend.

11.11.19

We made it back to Hastings fine

Although I thought it would be about 7

And it was more like 9 (eastern time).

It was raining in Dallas

And the wind was fierce

And my nerves, Google did pierce.

My maps app kept rerouting us,

With no ability to discuss.

“Accidents,” the voice would say,

“You better go this way!”

“No,” I screamed, “that doesn’t make sense!”

Leaving my brother in suspense.

“Which way do I go,”

He wanted to know,

“Do you know where we are?”

“No, Guess we listen to Google.”

Me and My Bro, Road Trippin, Yoe!

My brother and I went on a road trip to go our nephew’s wedding (our other brother’s son). We went from Oklahoma to North Carolina and back. I put videos on YouTube along the way for our friends and family to follow. Here they are. The audio could be better, among other things, I’m definitely not a pro. In fact, this was my first time doing anything like this.

Pre-Road Trip Video
Our first stop is one of my favorite places, so we stayed a couple of days.

11.10.19

A year ago today…

A year ago today we had

A memorial service for our dad

It is strange how quickly things can change (or not)

Depending on how our thoughts, we arrange.

Grateful to my friends, am I,

Who have helped me to see as the time went by,

That the choice is mine, how I feel,

I can either accept it or say, “This can’t be real.”

Acceptance is the key

And between you and me,

Sometimes it sucks.

But far worse is wishing it weren’t so

And not letting go.

Letting go does not mean I have forgotten.

And sure, I would rather my dad be alive

And that my mom, eleven months later, did not die,

But he’s not and she did,

and for me to truly live,

I cannot wish that it weren’t so,

in a “woe is me,” way, No, No, No!

Instead, I choose to focus on love

And be grateful to God in heaven above

For the parents He gave me for 48 years

And for my brothers, whom I have come to hold very dear.

And for the wonderful conclusion He gave us of this past year.

Annual Asparagus Festival

Every year for many years, we could count on my parents to stock our pantry with cases of home-grown pickled asparagus due to their abundant asparagus field and their talents in the kitchen. Even if we told them we still had plenty, my dad would say something like, “It will keep for years, and you never know when you’ll need it.” That was my dad. My mom, too, but mostly my dad.

The asparagus crop of 2019 produced much more than we could use. My mom tried to keep up, and she did pickle some, but being only six months after my dad had passed, she was still a mess. And it was overwhelming.

The fridge was full, the pressure cooker was cooking, piles of asparagus covered the counters, and pounds a day kept getting cut.

My brother had given so much to the neighbors, that when he tried to give them more, they sighed and said, “I still have plenty from the last time you came over!”

“What are we going to do with all this asparagus,” I exclaimed, sometime after I had arrived on April 19th, 2019.

“We can have an asparagus festival,” my brother said jokingly, at which I heartily laughed.

We had recently and frequently discussed how the small towns of Hastings and Waurika have so many festivals. It took us by surprise, I guess you could say, to hear about a different festival every other day. The fire department’s fish fry, the Sorosis Club’s fundraiser, the high school band’s breakfast, and that was just in one week. Every week last spring, it seemed , was like that. The all-day long and into the night event, “Meet Me Downtown,” was my favorite. I won $100 MasterCard gift card playing bingo that night, courtesy of FFNB.

So when my brother said, “Have a festival,” it was really for the chuckle. But I was like, “Yeah, let’s do!” My mom was like, “No, I do not want to do that.”

Once I convinced her that it wasn’t going to be an actual festival, it was just going to be me handing out bundles of asparagus after the Wednesday lunch at the Senior Citizens Center, she consented as much as I could expect her to. Oh, and I threw in a promise to do my best not to embarrass her.

So we, my brother and me, with our mom’s consent and our dad’s blessing from heaven, held “The First Annual Asparagus Festival” on May 1, 2019, and it was a hit!

Thirty bundles, almost a half-pound each, I gave away in less than a half-hour. “You know,” my brother (the idea-man) said, “saying it is a ‘First Annual’ denotes there will be a second.”

“Yep,” I concurred, “I guess we’ll just have to make it an annual thing!”