Heading west, Dave made an impromptu move, and changing lanes said, “Let’s go over to Sanibel and watch the sunset.”
“I don’t care,” I said, with no enthusiasm.
“Okay good,” he responded, as if I had said, “Yeah, wonderful idea!”
I sat there amused at first, that he chose to take my “I don’t care” statement as – I don’t care that we’re not doing what I thought we were, (going back to the house to do nothing) – instead of – I don’t care if we go see the sunset – which, clearly, is what I meant.
Of course I care that we are not doing what my mind was set on doing. Deviate from our plans of doing nothing? No way! My mind has very little room for change sometimes. If I think it’s going to be one way, then by golly darn it, it better be that way, or else. Even if your way is better. I was totally aware of this and wanted to be able to “go with the flow,” yet some part of me refused to give-in and go with it.
My amusement quickly downgraded to annoyance, and grasping for excuses, I added, “As long as we don’t go over the bridge. I don’t want to pay the toll.”
“Me either,” he replied.
We soon found ourselves in a ‘no turn around’ predicament and before we knew it, we were being asked for six dollars. I was shocked. Six dollars just to get on to Sanibel? Damn it, we didn’t even want to go to Sanibel. Or so I thought.
I felt myself getting mad. The thing is, I also knew I had a choice to not be mad.
I asked myself, “Do I really want to feel anger? Is this the feeling I really want right now?” I decided that it was not the feeling I desired for myself, and therefore, I would not be mad. Instead, I chose to focus on how happy I am that Dave is nowhere near angry whenever my actions don’t line up with his expectations. In fact, anger hardly ever seems to enter his mind. Instantly, I felt my load lighten.
After fumbling for money and handing it to the attendant, Dave looked at me apologetically, and before he could say a word, I joked, “What a topic – the six dollar sunset!” He smiled. I rolled down my window and started taking pictures.